This is an incomplete restoration of the original script. It contains some lines in german, but this is the original, unedited planning script, so at least it’s authentic.

---

(I think we should add more text from the narrator)

All directions are to be considered from the audience’s point of view.

Character Summaries:

Lionel Scritchie: Male Lion Puppet, leader of the dormitory and generally the voice of sanity. Will be played by Redlouts.

Poke: Male Ferret Puppet, always hyperactive, speaking before thinking (if he ever does think) and stuttering. Will be played by Fairlight.

Lori: Female Fox Puppet, a whinnying, depressive and always lamenting character. Will be played by Eisfuchs.

Rascal: Male Raccoon Puppet, wants his skit to be in the show desperately, oblivious of any bad feelings against it. Will be played by Chairo.

The Monk: Male human monk, wears a dark robe. Will be played by Chama.

PG lecturer: Male human scientist, seems always a bit crazy and talks with a fast and shrill voice. Same character as the alchemist in “Magic Maniac”. Actor not yet defined.

Witch: Female human witch, trying to speak as it is expected for witches but constantly failing her accent. She speaks in a slow, graceful but cackling voice. Will probably played by Lisanne Norman

Maiden: Female human maiden, acting very quiet and is easily impressed. Will probably be played by Reesa.

Captain: Male guard, afraid of dark magic and strong in his orders. Will probably be played by Thalian.

Alchemist: See PG lecturer.

-

Part 01: Boring Summer Nights

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Rascal
People: two guitar players
Props: lever, flower pot with inflatable tulips, two guitars
Music: “I’m a Raccoon”
Sounds: none

* Lionel stands in the middle of the stage.

* Lights come up.

* A lever and a flower pot with inflatable tulips are standing on the right side.

Lionel: “Damn! It’s just two more weeks ’til EF7 and what have we got? Nothing. Nothing at all!” “Silly don’t-try-to-do-the-same-as-last-year-try-to-be-different-do-something-new Cheetah! Here’s what we got. Nothing at all!”

* Poke comes up from the right and looks at Lionel.

Poke: “Hi there, pal! Whazzup? Ya don’t look too well, do you?”

Lionel: “Yeah! It’s showtime in two weeks and we don’t have a single skit to show, except for this new raccoon-guy’s song ‘I’m a raccoon’. Do you have any idea how old this song is? Even the MP3 of it has scratches, that’s how old it is!” *sighs*

* Rascal dives up between Poke and the flower pot.

* Poke turns to Rascal.

Poke: “Talk of the devil!” *snort*

* Poke disappears.

Rascal: “Oh! I didn’t mean to interrupt you guys. Did I just hear ‘raccoon’?”

Lionel: *sighs* “I guess, you did.”

Rascal: Speaking of ‘coons, is my raccoon song skit in the show? Did you decide yet? I can show it to you once more, if you like! Maybe that makes it easier for you to decide. Whaddayathink?”

(* Two guitar players with motionless faces appear on both ends of the stage.)

* Music “I’m a raccoon” starts.

* Lionel moves to the left border of the stage.

Lionel: “No! No!”

* Lionel’s cries fade against the loud music.

Part 02: The raccoon Song

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Rascal
People: two guitar players
Props: lever, flower pot with inflatable tulips, two guitars
Music: “I’m a Raccoon”
Sounds: breaking glass

* Lionel is stuck at the left border of the stage, obviously trying to get away from the music.

* Rascal sings his song, totally enjoying himself.

Rascal: “Don’t trust me with your favourite stuff …”

* Rascal throws down the flower pot that crashes down from the stage.

* Sound effect of breaking glass

* Music stops immediately.

* Rascal gets into panic and runs to the lever. He pulls it.

* Lights shut off completely.

* Rascal disappears.

Lionel: “Damn! Stupid ‘coon!” *cursing*

! The lever has to be removed here.

Part 03: The Idea

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Poke 2
People: none
Props: flower pot with inflatable tulips, transgender outfit
Music: none
Sounds: none

! A second ferret has to be prepared with the transgender outfit to make switching fast.

* Lights go back on again.

* The flower pot is lying on the ground in front of the stage. (Maybe we’ll have to provide a broken pot.)

* Lionel stares at where the flower pot is lying.

* Poke comes up from the right.

Poke: “Hi there, Lionel! Guess what! I … ” *stares at Lionel* “Lionel?” *louder* “LIONEL! I’m talking to you!”

* Lionel looks up and faces Poke.

Lionel: “Oh, hi Poke. What’s up?”

Poke: “You know, I’ve been thinking about our EF7 problem and I just got this *wonderful* idea for a skit!”

Lionel: “Uh … I guess I had enough genius skits for a day.”

Poke: “No, no! This one is different! I’ll show you! Hang on!”

* Lionel sighs and turns to the left.

* Poke disappears from the stage to the right.

* Lionel turns around again.

Lionel: *calls after Poke* “You are not going to sing, are you? Tell me, you are not going to sing! Please!”

* A moment of silence.

Lionel: “Poke?”

Poke (off, not using the microphone): “I can’t hear you! But I know you’re going to love it! I’m going to sing!”

* Lionel turns to the audience.

Lionel: *resigned* “Someone, please shoot me!”

* Poke 2 comes up from the right, wearing the transgender outfit.

* Lionel stares at Poke in surprise.

Lionel: “What the hell!”

Part 04: Time Warp

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Various others
People: none
Props: transgender outfit, fog machine
Music: “Time Warp”
Sounds: THX sound, old Windows95 startup sound

* Music “Time Warp” starts.

* Lionel stares at Poke while he starts singing.

* The other puppets appear to the left and to the right of Poke and Lionel, singing the “Time Warp” chorus (jump to the left, step to the right?).

* The song comes to it’s end.

* The THX sound drowns the fade out of the music.

* Light starts o flicker and swirl around.

* Fog comes up.

* The Windows95 starting sound comes up.

* Lights shut down.

Part 05: The Monk

Puppets: Poke
People: The Monk
Props: bottle of beer with latch
Music: gregorian chant
Sounds: monk’s prayer, bottle fump

* Poke is lying in the middle of the stage, unconscious.

* Lights dim. Spotlight on Poke.

* A bottle of beer is standing at the left side of the stage.

* The gregorian chant sets in.

* The monk appears on the right side and slowly goes over to the middle of the stage. He stops when he reaches Poke. He picks up the ferret.

* The chanting stops here.

* The monk looks at Poke from all sides and puts him down again.

* The prayer sound starts.

* The monk makes prayer movements, stands up again and goes on to the left.

* The chanting resumes.

* The monk reaches the bottle and opens it.

* Sound of a loud popping Bottle.

* The monk drinks while the chanting continues (gurgling?)

* The monk puts the bottle back and turns around, walking back to the ferret with uneasy steps. He stops at Poke, picks him up and tosses him with a casual movement behind the puppet stage. Then he walks off.

* Lights down

Part 06: The Awakening

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Lori
People: PG lecturer, 2 security guards
Props: ragged lingerie, picture presentation item
Music: “Morgenstimmung”
Sounds: none

* The puppets are lying on the stage, Lionel, Poke and Lori from left to right. Poke’s transgender outfit is a complete mess.

* Music “Morgenstimmung” begins to play.

* Lights fade in slowly.

* Puppets begin to stir and slowly wake up.

* Music softens.

Poke: *groans* “Uh … Oh … Oh, man! What the FUCK was this!”

Lori: “Watch the PG rating!”

Poke: “PG? Whaddaya mean, PG?”

Lori: “This show is PG rated. That means, no F-words!”

* Puppets freeze in their movement.

* Music stops.

* The PG lecturer is standing at the right border of the stage.

* Full spot light on the PG lecturer

! Fill in PG lecturer stuff here!

* The PG lecturer starts explaining the meaning of PG. While he demonstrates the difference between PG and X-rated, and therefor holds up some extremely X-rated pictures, he is immediately deported by two of the security guys.

* Music resumes at exactly the same point.

Poke: Hey! We just got … got … whatever we got and all you can think about is some fucking rating?

* Lori keeps silent and looks around.

Lionel: Well, whatever it was, this doesn’t look quite like our home anymore.

Poke: Yeah! I can see that. But what kind of place is this? I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore. This is giving me the creeps!

Lori: *staring around* “Oh, this place looks wonderful! Very much like The Wizard of Oz or somethig.”

Poke: “Does that mean that you, Mrs. PG bitch-voop, are Judy Garland now?”

* Lori turns angrily to Poke.

Lori: *snapped* “Puh!”

* Lori turns her back on Poke, hitting him with her tail.

* Poke starts to bounce around.

Poke: *singing* “We came to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!”

* Poke and Lionel leave the stage.

Part 07: Bitches and Witches

Puppets: Lori, Poke
People: Witch
Props: smoke bomb, cigarette
Music: none
Sounds: Thunder

Lori: *upset* “Hmph! Idiots! Both of them! Men! They’re all the same!”

* Sound effect “Thunder”

* Lights flashing.

* Smoke wells up.

* The witch appears to Loris right side.

* Lori jumps in surprise.

Lori: “Wha-!”

Witch: “Why didst thou call me, little vulpine?”

Lori stares at the witch.

Lori: *stuttering* “No!”

Witch: “I am pretty sure someone called me. I am the witch of the southwestern realms.”

Lori still stares at the witch:

Lori: *stuttering* “Southwestern?”

Witch: “Southwestern!” *casually* “I lost the southeastern part to Agatha during a poker night, but -” *gracefully* “- let’s get back to the point! Why did you call me, foxy?”

Lori: *stuttering* “Excuse me, Madam, but … you seem to have lost your accent!”

Witch: *surprised* “Oh! Damn! Well, ” *clears her throat* “Why didst thou call me, vulp …” *casually* “Ah, forget it. I’ll never get this accent right. So, why are you here?”

Lori: “I have no idea! We didn’t call you and … well … we even don’t know, where we are.”

* The witch cradles her chin in her hand for a moment.

Witch: “That’s odd. I could swear I heard someone talking about witches or wizards. Well, ” *shrugs* “anyway. You are near Freusburg castle now, Germany.”

Lori: “Ye Gods!”

Witch: *angry* “Accent’s my business! Anyway, it seems that you have come a long way.”

Lori: “How do you know that? Did you use your mighty witch powers?”

Witch: 2No, common sense. Plush foxes don’t live around here. Besides it is not the right time for creatures like you.”

Lori: “Not the right time? What time is it? Shall we come back later, when the time is right? And when will that be?”

Witch: “Meet me again at this very place in 500 years.”

Lori: “500 years? Are you kidding?”

Witch: “But why, of course 500 years!” *sighs deeply* *desperate* “You guys don’t live here before the 21st century. Is that so hard to understand?”

Lori: *shocked* “This is the 14th century?”

Witch: “Sure! What did you expect doing the time warp?”

* Lori faints and dissappears downwards.

* Poke comes up to the right of the witch, a cigarette stuck in his muzzle.

Poke: “Ey granny! Got fire?” (got a light?)

* The witch seems to flinch in anger.

Witch: “Granny?”

* The witch turns around and puts on her nicest smile.

Witch: *soothingly* “Of course I do, sweetheart!”

* The witch concentrates wit some gestures and casts a lightning spell towards Poke.

* Lights flashing, strobe effect on Poke.

* Sound effect thunder.

* Light goes dark.

* The witch disappears.

Part 08: Commercial break

Part 09: Maidens and Madness

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Lori
People: Maiden
Props: none
Music: “Spielleyt – Muito devemos varoes”
Sounds: none

* The music starts playing.

* The maiden is dancing on the right side of the stage.

* Lori, Poke and Lionel Scritchie, from left to right, approach the maiden from the left side.

* Lights are dim, spotlight on the maiden.

Narrator: “Our group of furry heroes has reached Freusburg castle, where Emperor Cheetah rules with kind paw. They heed the hope to ask the Emperor for help. Near the castle’s gates they stopped at the sight of a beautiful maiden, singing and dancing.”

* The music reaches the singing part.

* The maiden starts singing, and keeps on dancing.

* The puppets listen to the maiden’s song.

* After some time the maiden sees the puppets and jumps in surprise.

* The music stops immediately.

Maiden: “Oh! Who art thou? I never saw any creatures like thee within the walls of the royal castle!”

Lionel: “Well, dear Lady, we come from … I mean, we traveled through … Well, we come from far away and …”

Maiden: “Sir, thou speakest strangely.”

Lionel: “I know, sorry. It’s hard to explain. We come from the future.”

Maiden: “Oh! Then thou must be sorcerers!”

Lionel: “Not exactly. It’s more that … SOME OF US …” *turns briefly to Poke* “thought they were singers.”

Maiden: “Singers? How wonderful! I love music! So tell me, what is it like, this future? What is the music like?”

* Poke comes into the foreground.

Poke: “Lemme show you, ya cute little human chick!”

* Lionel disappears downwards.

Part 10: Modern Art

Puppets: 2 rapper ferrets, Lori
People: Maiden, 3 guards
Props: Ghettoblaster, plastic cups, swords
Music: “Pop goes the weasel RAP”
Sounds: none

! We have to prepare two ferrets with plastic cups for quick change.

* Poke disappears quickly.

* Lights go down and two ferrets come up in the middle of the stage, putting a ghettoblaster there. Then they stand to both sides of the ghettoblaster.

* Music “Pop goes the weasel RAP” starts.

* The ferrets and Lori sing the song.

* The maiden listens and looks puzzled.

* The song comes near the end.

* Three guards with swords appear at the left side of the stage.

Part 11: Music in a Box

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Lori
People: Maiden
Props: Ghettoblaster
Music: none
Sounds: none

* Lionel comes on stage, to the right of the ghettoblaster.

* The rapper ferrets disappear downwards.

* Poke comes to the left of the ghettoblaster, try to make the ferret change as invisible as possible.

* The guard’s captain steps forward.

* The maiden follows the conversation as you would follow a game of tennis.

Captain: “What’s that dreadful noise?”

Poke: “What’s your problem, hairless ape?”

Captain: “You threw off the Emperor’s groove!”

Poke: *mocking* “Huh! I threw of the Emperor’s groove! Buu-hu! Now I’m feeling really bad. Bad ferret!”

* The Captain puts the blade of his sword at Poke’s throat.

* Poke freezes.

Poke: “Ack!”

Captain: “Your little black box there is the work of the devil! I hear music playing, but I can’t see no orchestra. You have trapped all of them in your little black box with evil magic!”

Poke: “But …”

Captain: “Shut up! You won’t enchant me with your evil spells! You will have enough time to talk in front of the great inquisitor! I’ll take you to the dungeons, all of you!”

+ The Captain turns to the remaining guards.

Captain: “GUARDS!”

* The guards take all visible puppets and go away with them.

* The maiden still stares at the scene, looking even more puzzled. Then she walks off the stage.

* Lights down.

! The ghettoblaster has to be removed then.

Part 12: Jail

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Poke, Lori
People: none
Props: Jail bars (light?), Bread and water
Music: none
Sounds: Drip!

* A pot of water and a piece of bread are lying on the right side of the stage.

* Full lights.

* Constantly dripping water in the background.

Narrator: So off our futuristic bunch went, directly to the castle prison down in the deepest dungeons.

* Some moments of silence, nothing happens.

Narrator: *clears his throat* “Ahem! Down in the deepest DIMLY LIT dungeons!”

* Lights go down very low, creating a twilight atmosphere.

Narrator: “Thank you. So our furries sat there -”

* Lori, Poke and Lionel appear, from left to right.

Narrator: “- wondering what to do next.”

* Lori faces Poke.

Lori: “Poke! This time you really did it!”

Poke: “Did what? Not my fault this furless Cromagnon has no clue about art and tech!” *contemplating* “But he was cute, though! I wonder what he would’ve looked like in a red skirt.”

Lori: Well, fact is, this is a jail, and all my instincts tell me, that this is not my natural habitat!

Poke: So?

Lori: So we better get outta here! I …” *starts sobbing* “I … wanna be back in my time, my america, my Kansas!”

* Poke goes away.

* Lionel followes Poke.

* Lori keeps on sobbing.

Part 13: Amazing Grace

Puppets: Lori
People: none
Props: Jail bars (light?), Bread and water
Music: “Amazing Grace – a capella solo”
Sounds: none

* Spotlight on Lori

* Lori sings “Amazing Grace”.

Part 14: Commercial Break 2

Part 15: Help!

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Lori, Poke, various for chorus
People: none
Props: Jail bars (light?), Bread and water
Music: “Help!”
Sounds: Drip!

* Lights are dim.

* Dripping water sound in the background.

* Poke and Lionel appear to the right from Lori.

Lori: “Oh, how I hate this place! It’s so damp and smelly. How are we *ever* going to get out of here? I’m hungry and my fur is all messy!”

Poke: “Hey, this place is more authentic than the dungeon in my basement! I wonder if they would rent it for a night or two. Maybe I can get the guard to chain me up for some serious whipping.”

Lionel: “Poke, you’re not really helping the case here.”

Lori: *sobbing* “We are doomed! They will hear us at the trial! And the first word out of that ferret’s muzzle will lead us to execution! I don’t know, what to do!”

Lionel: “Lori, there is only one thing, we can do. We need to call for -”

Poke: “Sex?”

Lionel, Lori: *simultaneously* “NO!”

Lionel: “No, we need to call for -”

* Song “Help!” starts here.

* The rest of the puppets appear to sing the Chors.

* The song reaches its end.

* Lights fade to black.

* The puppets disappear.

Part 16: Breaking free

Puppets: some, none really visible
People: some cloaked figure
Props: none
Music: “Gargoyles theme”
Sounds: Rustling, clanking

* Lights go daown really dark. No puppets are visible.

* All voices are coming off vision.

* Rustling sound.

Poke: “Did you hear that?”

Lionel: “Hear what?”

* Clanking sound.

Poke: “Uh … did you say something?”

Lionel: “Say what?”

Poke: “Smell something?”

Lionel: *sniffs* “Um … Yes!”

Lori: “Oops. Sorry!”

* Clanking sound.

Poke: “Quiet! I think, someone’s coming!”

* The gargoyles music starts.

* Weird light effects.

* A black cloaked figure runs a few times across the stage, grabbing puppets.

* The music reaches the end.

* Lights go down to black again.

Part 17: Magic Maniac

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Lori, Poke
People: Alchemist, 2 guards
Props: white overall, some chemistry equipment
Music: “They’re coming to take me away”
Sounds: Door sounds

* Chemistry equipment to both sides of the stage.

* Lori, Poke and Lionel are lying on the left side of the stage, uinconscious.

* The alchemist is standing in the middle of the stage, looking at the puppets.

Narrator: “A while after their *spectacular* exemption from the dungeon our friends wake up in a laboratory, where a strange looking person is watching them.”

* The alchemist watches the puppets stir and wake up.

Alchemist: “Oh! Finally you’re awake!”

Lionel: “Uh … Mh …” *shakes his head* “Yeah.”

Poke: “Uh, did you get the number of that donkey cart?”

Alchemist: “What donkey cart?”

Poke: “Nevermind.”

Lionel: “Well, if you are the one who freed us from the dungeon, thank you very much! Although I would’ve hoped for a less painful method.” *moan*

Alchemist: “Listen closely, little fellows! We don’t have much time before they’re coming to take me away!”

Poke: “They? Who’s they?”

Alchemist: “I know where you came from and thus I know, that here and now is not where you belong.”

Poke: “But …”

Alchemist: “Go to the dreadful desert and find the miraculous monolith. It will guide you to the feathered ferret. He knows the secret of the perilious pounce. Then seek out the labrador of her ladyship, for only he can guide the way to the 21st century fox. Challenge him and use the force of the pounce to achieve a wish. This is yur only hope.” *getting madder* “Use the pounce, furries!”

* The Alchemist grabs Lori’s throat and shakes her.

Alchemist: “Fulfill the prophecy! Fulfill the prophecy!”

* The Alchemist lets go of Lori and stands back, while he’s looking around franticly.

Poke: Perilious pounce?

Lionel: Her ladyship’s labrador?

Lori: Fulfill the prophecy?

* The sound of a door opening and closing.

Alchemist: “Oh, no! Here they come!”

* The song “They’re coming to take me away” starts.

* The Alchemist starts running about but is caught by the guards, constantly singing his song and trying to run off.

* The guards drag the alchimist off stage.

Part 18: (untitled)

Puppets: Lionel Scritchie, Lori, Poke
People: none
Props: none
Music: none
Sounds: none

Lionel: He’s gone! Now we seem to be on our own again.

Poke: “Great help! Now wasn’t that sweet! I told you to call for sex, but nooooooo … You wouldn’t listen. Now let’s see how Mr. Smart-Lionass gets us out of here.”

—

(Desert scene)

Wir sehen einen Monolithen. 2001-Musik, das Licht einer Taschenlampe klettert dahinter empor. Ein Beduine sitzt vor dem Monolithen und erzaehlt irgendwas von einer Prophezeihung und einer Inschrift. Puppets kommen angekrochen.

Lionel: “Water! Water!”

Lori: “Water! Water!”

Poke: “Budweiser! Budweiser!”

Beduine: “I am the keeper of the miraculous monolith! I have been meditating for the last 2001 years, waiting for the prophecy to be fulfilled!”

Lori: “Tell us, where shall we go?”

Beduine: “How should I know? You’re the promised ones, not me!”

* Lory begins to cry and wail again.

* Lionel looks up the monolith.

Lionel: “Look up there! There’s an inscription!”

Lori: “What does it say?”

Poke holds his ear to the monolith.

Poke: “Doesn’t say a thing.”

Lionel: “It’s too high, I can’t reach it.”

Beduine: “Only the chosen ones will be able to decypher the inscription. Only they will reveal the secret of the monolith. Join together in meditation, link your minds and your conscience will form wings and take you to the top of the monolith. And only the chosen ones will then recit the magic lore to reveal the secret path to their destiny.”

* Poke goes over to Lionel.

Poke: “Alright, no problem. Lionel, you link your mind to mine.”

* Poke puts his head against Lionel’s.

Lionel: “And just how am I supposed to do that?”

—

21st century fox:

Er empfaengt die Gruppe und will die Aufloesung der Prophezeihung.

- Welche Prophezeihung?

- Erklaerung folgt.

21st: “Ihr seid nicht die Auserwaehlten! Fort mit euch!”

*boof!*

- Rueckkehr und Feier

21st: “Why me? Where are the real chosen ones?”

jail: “But, you gotta believe me! We found this little box on our way! We are here to fulfill the prophecy!”

Guard: “Explain that to the inquisition!”

Jail: “Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

—

Party music, end of show